She is a self-sufficient entrepreneur, somewhat mysterious, with big dreams and an even bigger heart, although not everyone sees it at first glance. For whatever reason, he’s never been the “fall in love” type. In fact, if you’ve ever been in a relationship, it’s probably one of the most difficult and confusing things you’ve ever experienced, and you’re not usually a person to get discouraged. But how to love such a woman ? She is the girl you love and she may not know how she should be loved, but here are some ways you can reach her hidden heart.
Some might see her as cold and distant, because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling scattered that she disappears.
Sure, she has family and friends with whom she loves to spend much of her time, but it is in her nature to long for those precious hours of solitude, to be alone with her thoughts, completely alone in a crowd or in the vastness of a quiet scene.
Some call it antisocial; she calls it sanity.
Perhaps she’s too focused on her goals to realize that love might be knocking on her door, or she’s so comfortable with control that the thought of even giving in to someone else makes her uneasy.
There is also the possibility that, despite your external confidence and undeniable potential for success, you are extremely insecure.
Or maybe she’s just afraid to open up enough to be loved .
Whatever the reason, it all comes down to the fact that this girl probably doesn’t know how to handle the love that a suitor might want to give her.
It doesn’t mean it’s a lost cause, it just means that developing any kind of relationship with her will require an approach that is more sensitive to her wary heart.
5 tips to love a woman who does not know how to be loved
In an effort to offer insight, here are some tips for learning to love a girl who doesn’t know how to be loved:
1. Be patient during the courtship process
Don’t expect her to be comfortable in something that feels a bit like romance. Keep in mind that it probably took him a lot of contemplation and courage to even consider spending his time with you.
And if she seems to be comfortable responding to your first few moves, she may well be genuinely terrified of what you will think of her if she asks you to slow down.
So she only musters the strength to submit to the moment, only to spend the entire night feeling horrible about her dishonesty and inability to hit the brakes. This will scare her enough to cause her to cut whatever ties have been made and immediately withdraw, something she is not afraid to do.
To avoid that, let things unfold at a rate that seems natural, which may be slower than what is considered “normal.” Remember, she’s not used to feeling loved , and too much at once will surely push her over the edge.
Showing sensitivity to your rhythm will let you know that you don’t have to fear being out of control.
2. Talk and show him that he can share what he thinks
Because she spends a lot of time alone and in her head, this girl might get the impression that her thoughts and opinions are too intense for others.
He rarely shares things on his mind, as he fears that whatever is in there is so deep and curious that people think it is too dramatic, weirdly philosophical, or just plain weird.
She values deep conversation, but feels that she can exercise this pleasure with relatively few, if any, people.
Then talk to her. Let him know that he can speak his mind, and don’t be afraid of his ability to analyze every possible meaning of a theory he’s been hanging on for weeks.
If he’s apologizing for rambling on about it, tell him that he doesn’t need to apologize, that he doesn’t need to hold it back. Make her feel that while she is certainly unique for having such thoughts, she is not crazy or abnormal.
Tell her that it makes her even more beautiful.
And then, give it back to her. Make sure you participate in your contemplations as much as you listen; she wants to hear your thoughts more than you realize.
3. Support her and don’t make her choose between you and her life goals
Part of this woman’s struggle to let herself be loved could be that she is relentlessly focused on her dreams and goals, so much so that she forgets to make room in her life for other things, like relationships.
It is not something that you do intentionally, you are just extremely determined to achieve whatever it is that you set out to do.
If you are forced to choose between a love life and your goals, you have already chosen the latter. So don’t make her choose.
And certainly don’t make her feel guilty for not spending more time with you as a result, she will take it as another sign that she needs to cut ties, even if they are stronger right now.
Instead, support her. If you really love this girl and she really loves you, then she will receive encouragement. She will want to support you too. Leave her; With a heart as passionate as hers, you’ll want her on your team.
4. Do not be two halves of a whole, be two wholes that form an even greater whole
Remember that she is just that, an independent girl with the ability to fend for herself. You might even be afraid of depending on others, no matter how much you trust them.
Therefore, do not think of a relationship with her as one that joins two halves to form a whole; she will not treat it as such, and she will definitely not be comfortable if you do.
Rather, see it as two wholes that become an even greater whole: two individuals who love each other enough to respect each other’s independence and uniqueness.
This includes honoring her need for alone time. She realizes that you are a person with or without her and asks you to see her the same way. Being able to spend time apart is important to her; she doesn’t want to trust your presence, nor does she want you to trust hers.
Don’t try to spend every hour of every day with her unless you want her to feel so bombarded that she collapses into a mess of tears, vomit, and utter confusion, ending her breakup and vowing never to interact with another human. Never more.
But when you are together, be together. Completely. Let her know that she is loved until she begins to understand what that feels like, and then continue to do so. If it’s correct, she will come. And because she’s loyal by nature, she will stay too (so don’t give her any reason to think you won’t).
In truth, this girl has a lot of love to give, even if it’s a bit awkward to show off at first. She just needs time, time to figure things out for herself, to better understand how this being loved and loving works.
5. Let her discover that deep down she just wants to love and be loved, like everyone else
If she leaves you close enough to love her, take it seriously. It means you are trying. It means that she wants to love you. And remember that helping her learn to be loved in return is the surest way to win her heart.