Waiting and proposing our happiness is a way to postpone it eternally and not live the moment in which we are, having within reach the key to open our own heart to be present in life.
When we were children we enjoyed life immensely. Almost everything was a party, an opportunity to discover, grow, have fun. But over the years we sacrifice our happiness on the altar of duty. They taught us that we should apply ourselves more, do more, go further, have more, aspire more. They told us that if we believed we were satisfied with what we had, we would be conformists …
They have instilled in us the idea that our value does not depend on who we are, but on what we get. In this way, we have learned to set goals, to focus on them, not to give up until we have achieved them. And so life, without realizing it, has become a kind of room in which to hang our trophies. We become the perfect victims of the virus that infests our society: Confucianism.
There is a very simple test to determine if you have fallen into this trap: Imagine having to explain who you are to someone you just met on the street. That person has only 30 seconds, so you must choose your words carefully to form the most accurate picture of you as possible. What would you say? Think about it.
If you mention your profession and the things that you have, it is likely that you are a victim of Confucianism. Surely the things you achieve are part of you, but they belong to your past, they are not your present and, above all, they are not you.
You are much more, you are your passions, your dreams, your hopes, your plans for the future, the things you like and dislike, what you think, what you love, what excites you and despises, what you reject.
Why is this so dangerous?
Living a life for finality means limiting our life and happiness to achieving certain goals. It is the tendency to think that we will be better and happier when we get something, always in the future.
Obviously, finalism contains a death trap, since it is impossible to put our lives on alert, time continues to inexorably pass, even if we do not take advantage of it and do not enjoy life, even if we continue to lie we repeat to ourselves that tomorrow It will be better, that when we achieve what we wanted, we will be happier, we will be more relaxed and we will be able to afford some “luxuries”.
But the truth is that it is not necessary to have everything to enjoy life , because we already have a life that allows us to enjoy everything. There is no reason to postpone happiness, joy, pleasure, or inner peace other than the belief, or rather the urgency, that we feel when finishing something we started.
This belief is based on considering life as a ladder of which each step is a mission accomplished. Obviously society is structured to confirm this, just think about the different grades we get as we go through school. However, what we usually remember from those years is that brilliant teacher, friends or that we had fun. It is understandable then to ask ourselves if we are really living our lives.
“Life is what happens in front of our eyes while we are planning our dreams”
The concept you have of life will determine how you live and, above all, the spirit with which you will face the different situations that you will encounter along the way. This is not a simple philosophy, this concept has some very practical implications in everyday life.
I like to think of life as a river that runs continuously and in which many projects, objectives and goals overlap, but everything ends up being carried away by the current, and that will shape our past. That means that life is not a race whose objective is the finish line, it is not a competition to determine who is the best, but a stream of experiences, sometimes pleasant, sometimes not, but always valuable.
Who does not understand the difference is likely to live constantly in the race, always waiting for “better times”, which will probably never come, because they are happening right now. The good news is that you decide how to approach them: in a harrowing race towards a nonexistent goal or in a smooth flow in which all experiences count.
What Charles Chaplin thought about enjoying life
An insight from Charles Chaplin is particularly illuminating in this regard and worth sharing:
As I began to love myself, I found that emotional distress and suffering are just warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
When I started loving myself, I understood how much it can offend someone while trying to force my wishes on this person, even though I knew the timing was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
When I began to love myself, I stopped yearning for a different life, and I could see that everything around me invited me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
When I began to love myself, I understood that in any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the right time, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
When I started loving myself, I stopped grooming my own time, and I stopped designing big projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things that I love to do and that make my heart rejoice, and I do them in my own way and at my own pace. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
When I started loving myself I freed myself from everything that is not good for my health: food, people, things, situations and everything that dragged me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude healthy selfishness. Today I know what it is to LOVE MYSELF.
When I started loving myself, I stopped trying to always be right, and since then I have been wrong for less time. Today I discovered that it is MODESTY.
When I started loving myself I refused to continue living in the past and worried about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live every day, day by day, and I call it COMPLIANCE.
When I started loving myself, I recognized that my mind can bother me and it can make me sick. But by connecting it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to have arguments, confrontations or any kind of problem with ourselves or others. Even the stars collide, and from their new broken worlds are born. Today I know that IS LIFE!