A couple does not stop being one because each one has time for himself, has particular dreams and wishes to fulfill them, on the contrary, it is necessary that he and she continue to be autonomous and independent people. It is very important to leave space for the couple to cultivate their own love and personal development, but above all so that you can cultivate yours.

If your partner asks for space

If your partner asks for space , take a deep breath, do not get confused and before answering him, ask yourself questions: Are you respecting his individuality or are you demanding so much attention that you overwhelm him? Perhaps that is a sign to change and improve.

Other important questions to feed your autonomy. What can I start to do for myself, how can I fill my time? When was the last time I went out with my friends? Have I stopped doing those things that I like?

Remember: Neither forward nor backward, together, on a path, but each one with enough time to know his path, to enjoy its views and landscapes. Each one has the right to walk at his own pace, to have and to enjoy his personal interests. Accompanying and supporting us, yes, but in the full exercise of freedom.

Your space, my space and our space

When it comes to talking about couples, I will always remember the image of two circles that approach and unite in one part, that is the couple, but they keep the other intact, outside the relationship. That is the personal space, the one that allows you to maintain a healthy attachment. It is knowing that I am happy with you and also without you. I have a life, interests and a projection for growth. That premise applies to my partner, to give him his space.

Giving ourselves space is building a bridge of trust

Knowing that I have a space with you and I also have a space for myself, is what is healthy, it allows the couple to become stronger, to cultivate trust, as a firm framework, a bridge that holds them together without affecting their inner power and individuality.

If each one continues their growth as a person, this is how their relationship will grow and mature.

Trust is respecting your privacy. Their social networks, their mobile, their personal belongings, their wallet, are part of the personal set that we should not pretend to access if we want to build a mature relationship with regard to the other and ourselves.

Recommendations to strengthen your relationship and give yourself space.

The power of the three Cs;

  • Talk : Tell each other what is necessary for both of you to handle each other’s information, talk about your interests and personal plans.
  • Make : Agree, negotiate, tell yourself your intentions, motives and personal goals.
  • Agree: Find your meeting points, make what is important to your partner something important to you.

The use of the three A’s:

  • Support each other : That each one feels the support of the other in living their own dreams.
  • Love each other: One form of love is that each one feels happy with the happiness of his / her partner and wants the best for her / him.
  • Accept yourselves : Appreciate the other in his human dimension, with defects and virtues. To receive the other at will, is not to tolerate that it would almost imply a sacrifice. It is to feel comfortable by his side with and not despite …

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses. He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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