The effects that anger can produce, being a simple emotion but which can resonate very strongly, can cause damage on a physical level although they can also help to release frustration.

Our body is capable of producing chemicals that produce different reactions in the body, such as increased palpitations, respiration accelerates more and more, the voice trembles and sweat runs, among other series of contractions and even pains that later appear. , like stomach pain.

What anger can reveal about ourselves

Anger is an emotion that is released as anger, and it can affect both physically and emotionally, in addition to revealing a few things that we have hidden or unresolved with ourselves.

In addition to the physical effects, the energy of that emotion generates various types of thoughts that end up fueling the anger even more. But what is really behind this feeling? At first we seem stronger and more intimidating when we are angry. Only, in reality, that feeling may be hiding several of our insecurities .

Anger can hide fear

Imagine a child who innocently does something very dangerous, such as letting go of an adult’s hand and running across the street. The father or mother can go crazy and fight or even hit the child. What is really hiding the anger is the fear that something bad will happen to your child, fear of the sadness or guilt that this may cause.

Anger with someone can hide guilt

Imagine that there is something you have done that makes you feel guilty. It can be the abandonment of a child or injustice against a friend, some dishonest act or anything else. If someone brings up the matter, you may defend yourself with anger and aggression instead of admitting your mistake and your real feelings. It is as if you were saying: ” Don’t touch that matter, because that makes me feel guilty, and I don’t want to feel that guilt!” .

Anger can hide a difficulty in saying no or imposing limits

There are people who deal well with the issue of setting limits and being respected. They are perfectly able to tell others when they are tired and need to leave, that it is not allowed to do such a thing at home or that they cannot take the friend who asked to drive them.

However, other people have great difficulty in saying no . And at every limit that is not given, they accumulate resentment. They may appear calm on the outside, but inside the anger and resentment are building up. Until a certain moment comes that the drop that overflows the glass falls. The anger becomes so great that it overcomes the fear of setting limits. There his reaction is intense, aggressive and it is possible that he will say everything that he did not say until that moment.

Anger can hide a need to manipulate the other

A daughter who feels guilty when her mother is angry will be quite susceptible to doing what this mother wants, and not her own will. A great game of guilt and manipulation full of feelings can be established that sometimes last a lifetime.

Anger can manifest unforgiveness

Anger with someone who did not forgive us hides that we have not forgiven ourselves yet. Sometimes, we are angry with someone because that person did not forgive us for something we did when we already assumed the mistake and apologized.

In reality, it is that we are the ones who have not forgiven each other yet. We are counting on the other to forgive us so that we can finally forgive ourselves. It is as if the other has the power to restore inner peace to us. We are, then, angry with that person because he does not liberate us. But it is clear that we can free ourselves, even though the other still has a grudge. Since we can’t see it that way, we suffer.

Anger can hide the need for recognition

We do a lot of things hoping for some kind of recognition. At first we say that we don’t need any of that. But when recognition doesn’t come, we get mad at people.

Other times, someone did something that we didn’t like. Anger arises as a way of trying to make the other feel guilty, acknowledge what they did, apologize to us, and tell us how unfair it has been.

Anger can hide a feeling of rejection

People who were abandoned, whether by parents, partners or other important figures, feel rejected. Rejection is very uncomfortable because we usually believe, consciously or unconsciously, that we have something very wrong, that we are not worthy of receiving love.

That pain can be masked and all we show is our resentment, anger, contempt for the one who abandoned us. It is as if we said: “ You rejected me and made me feel that I have no value, I don’t want to get in touch with that feeling, I don’t know how to deal with it. I prefer to show that I am angry with you, to prove that you are unfair, ungrateful, that you are a bad person! “

Anger can hide a feeling of helplessness or non-acceptance

Something happened and there is absolutely nothing we can do. The car broke down and you’re in a big hurry. The employee lost a very important document. The airline company sold you a ticket but there is no place on the plane. It is raining a lot during the holiday and you had planned to go to the beach. These situations can easily make us feel irritated, lack of acceptance can lead us to be angry for a long time without being aware of where it originated.

Anger with others can hide the anger you feel with yourself

We did something theoretically against our will because someone asked us to. Actually, we did it because we want to be accepted and are afraid of rejection. So we don’t get angry with the person, perhaps believing that she is an exploiter and that we are her victim. In deep analysis, we are actually angry with ourselves for having done something we did not want, anger for not being able to simply say no, anger for being so dependent, for example.

There are innumerable nuances that can be masked by anger. Many others could continue to be listed here. Normally, they will hide a mixture of various feelings. The feelings of guilt, fear, frustration, need for recognition and others are the main ones that hide behind anger.

We mask our frailties. Feeling weak, the ego hides behind an apparent armor of strength and aggressiveness, to scare, to defend itself. It’s like some small, harmless animals do in nature. When cornered, there are some that puff up, bristle, spread their wings or a fan of feathers. All to appear bigger and stronger.

If you can recognize that your anger has a lack in it, you can begin to work on it to avoid falling victim to your own unresolved fears.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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