Where do our problems hide? It may seem very simple to answer this question, since the problems come to light, however, there are certain problems that we prefer to hide and those are the worst, those that are presented in a camouflaged way and often direct our lives.
¿ Where think our problems arise ? Do this experiment: when you are in a good mood, walk down the street, to public transport and visit the food market. Pay attention to the people around you, their mood, their location. You will find a gray mass, overwhelmed and preoccupied with many problems , seeking to upset all those who are well. But what is more terrible, you yourself are part of this mass when you are not in such an exalted state of mind.
Our world is going through a painful time , it is disastrous when we think that children interfere with working life. Friends are those with whom you can compete in successes, instead of supporting each other in losses and problems. Young families break up easily due to misunderstandings, different interests, material problems, and various easy-to-fix excuses. And the worst thing is that we always blame someone for all our problems : partner, status, even God. But we never remember that the main link in the chain of our problems is ourselves.
Why do our problems arise
Our problems arise mainly due to the fact that we delegate responsibility for our happiness instead of holding ourselves accountable. I couldn’t get into the university, there is too much competition and the questions are so complicated. The family is on the verge of disintegration, but the husband searches for solutions in the bottom of a bottle of alcohol.
Everything that does not suit us in our lives, we were creating ourselves . We were poorly prepared for admission. We lacked the strength of will and the responsibility to get the most out of the knowledge that is needed. She married a man who has a propensity for alcohol and violence, so she decided. Our life is in our hands and any step we take, without thinking, will necessarily imply consequences.
To change everything, we need to make some efforts, because our attitude towards life is still that of our parents. His worldview was passed down to us by inheritance. This does not mean that they can now be blamed for everything. We have them to thank for showing us how not to do it and if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t have grown wiser and stronger.
How to deal with problems
First, pay attention to the details that you are missing. How do you answer questions, how do you react to complaints? Any response and reaction that you choose yourself will have consequences for you. As Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel humiliated without your consent . “
The choice of priorities is the most important step in a successful life. There is a very popular book by Stephen Covey “The Seven Skills of Highly Effective People” , in which the author proposes to cultivate one of the skills: “choosing priorities”. According to him, our insecurity lies in them. If material wealth is a priority for us, then we will easily become vulnerable if our friend has a bigger house or a more expensive car.
If marriage and love relationships are a priority for us, we will easily lose trust if they are weakened. If our priority is high in studies, then of course we feel insecure, receiving a low grade. But those around us see this well and enjoy it.
It is another question whether our priorities are our principles, in the best sense of the word. The principled person will never be humiliated and offended, he will not be depressed by a bad evaluation. Its principle is: I learned and I know that my goal is knowledge. Divorce and discord in relationships will not affect a person of principle. All this sounds very difficult, but the solution of the problems is in your hands.
People often omit such important points as honesty, kindness towards others, mercy and attention. “There is no time for this.” “No one feels sorry for me, so I won’t feel sorry for anyone either.” “There is no money”. They are typical responses to absolve ourselves of responsibility.