The art of letting go refers to the ability that people have to free ourselves from what emotionally enslaves us. Understand that this reason for anguish, pain, worry and fear is not a “real threat” to your life, that power is granted by you and that as you recover that inner power, that you take charge of what happens , you get over it.

Why is it so hard for us to let go?

Because we remain anchored in the past, brooding over what happened, feeling guilt for what was done or pain for what they did to us. In one case we are victims of ourselves and in the other we re-victimize ourselves.

Another aspect that prevents us from letting go is fear, a basic emotion associated with survival. We are afraid of suffering loss , fear of suffering, so much so that we confuse dying with feeling that we are dying.

Relearn to let go …

We were born with the ability to let go, but throughout our lives, our egos have been programmed for attachment, an erratic and obsessive bonding. They train us so that we don’t quit, so that we avoid losses, that is why we refuse to assume non-permanence, we are left with the paradigm of necessity and forever; to be happy we need things, we need to have someone, we need to be successful.

For example, in the couple relationships they installed us: ” And they were happy forever” … and sometimes to comply with the program, because if you have not failed, we cling to relationships with attachment, obsessively sacrificing our own freedom and dignity for that fear of failure.

The changeable is an expression of life

Change is inherent in life itself. Relationships end, people leave or die. We move, they fire us from work or they change our position, they steal our car, we emigrate and stop counting … We have losses, it is true, but if we assume them as part of life and live them in the present tense, the feeling of loss and pain has its due space …

And then it just happens. Our mind needs completeness, its nature is to seek relief and well-being. When we don’t let go, we maintain unfinished emotional cycles and inevitably hurt ourselves.

What to do to let go?

If we identify that something or someone does us more harm than good, that hurts our self-esteem, hurts our physical and emotional integrity, it is time to let it go.

We can choose! Deciding to break up with a couple that no longer works is to change a useless suffering for a useful pain, it is to know that we are going to overcome it.

Choosing to be a protagonist instead of a victim, instead of asking me why, look for a learning opportunity so that you don’t lose yourself on the same path again: what do I have to learn, what do I realize?

Show ourselves that we are healthy adults, let’s choose well-being over suffering.

The exercise of freedom is to understand who we are and what we are capable of. Knowing that we can enjoy something or someone’s company but it is not essential, we do not need it for our well-being.

You open the fist that until then you held closed with all your might to the point of hurting yourself. You look at the marks of the nails buried in the flesh, the palm of the hand is empty … You can be left with the loss and the pain … or you can see the open hand ready to give or receive …

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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