Being part of a relationship can be scary. You may not be completely sure or sure what your partner’s plans are or how much loyalty they have, especially if you haven’t been together for a long time. You may be worried that while you’re in it for the long haul, your partner isn’t, or just hasn’t decided yet.

Many people turn to unsavory loyalty “tests” to discover the truth. But playing mind games and executing scenarios and situations with tricks is the opposite of what we stand for. Those types of tricks are unhealthy and only create more reasons to lose someone’s loyalty .

10 healthy questions to ask your partner that prove their loyalty

So what should you do instead? Having an honest and open conversation with your partner is the way to go. But it can be difficult to figure out where to start and how to go about it. To help you, here are some questions to ask your partner to prove their loyalty

1. What is your definition of loyalty?

Most people assume that everyone thinks of loyalty the same way. The truth is that people have different ideas of what loyalty really is . For some people, it is very strict, and for others it involves very little. Whichever side you fall on, or wherever you get in the way, you shouldn’t fall into the trap of assuming your partner feels the same way.

It is important for those in a relationship to be on the same page. Discuss what loyalty means to each of you, what you both define as cheating, and, in essence, what commitment you and your partner define.

Knowing how your partner defines loyalty helps avoid arguments in the future, since you both know what you’re getting into. It’s also a great way to ensure that your partner is someone who values ​​and appreciates loyalty.

2. What are your current priorities?

This is a question best asked outside the context of your relationship, so bring it up in a casual conversation, not when you’re already discussing your relationship. This is because you may not get the most accurate answer when you are already talking about romance and emotions centering on that.

Karol Ward, a licensed psychologist and licensed clinical social worker, suggests that you pay close attention to whether your partner talks about long-term committed relationships as part of their priorities. Otherwise, they may not be ready to seriously commit.

  • It’s also a great way to make sure you’re both at the same time in your life.
  • If you are focused on work and they are too, everything works.
  • But if you or your partner are ready to settle down and put the other person first, but this is unrequited, it’s time to take a step back.

3. Where do you think the relationship is and where do you want to go?

One of the easiest ways to find out how loyal or committed your partner is is to ask them directly. Ask where they currently see the relationship. If you are not sure, ask where they would like to go personally.

The reason many people end up being “led” by their partners is simply due to a lack of positive communication. Without good communication, you cannot be sure that your partner is loyal to you; they most likely don’t even know that you expect that from them.

Does your partner not have a clear answer?

  1. Open the discussion.
  2. Talk about the future of your relationship and see if you both have similar wishes.
  3. It’s good to get it all out there.
  4. If your partner is angry or does not want to talk about it, it is very likely that they are not in a commitment.

4. What are your thoughts on long-term vs. short-term relationships?

Not everyone believes in “happily ever after.” For some, it’s about dating the right person for them at the right time and moving on when that time is over. Some people also cannot be happy in a relationship for long periods of time. That’s fine, as long as you both know.

Ask the question casually, not aggressively, and ask a hypothetical question. Does your partner prefer long-term relationships, or would they prefer to keep their options and be open and move on over time? Are they monogamous or do they refuse to be tied down?

This will also give you an idea of ​​what your partner thinks about loyalty and commitment, and you can prepare for what lies ahead. Plus, you’ll know if they’re likely to stick around in tough times, which links us to our next point.

5. How can we deal with future challenges?

All relationships go through difficult times and you must be prepared to handle them with your partner. If you foresee a challenge in the future, talk seriously with your partner about how they are going to handle it. Don’t have an impending challenge? Present a hypothetical that is likely to occur in a long-term relationship.

Couples should be willing to have discussions about these incidents. If they don’t want to talk about it, it’s not a good sign for a long relationship or their commitment levels.

In difficult times, couples have to be able to recognize problems, discuss problems, maintain positive thinking, and listen to their partner. So if they aren’t willing to do that now, they probably already have one foot out the door.

6. What could be the most important aspect of a long-term relationship?

Engaged couples know exactly what they want in a long-term relationship, or at the very least, they know what matters to them. If your partner has absolutely no idea what they think is important in long-term relationships, they are probably not considering one.

Sometimes a partner may not have thought of that yet. If this is the case, prepare yourself with the possibility of being less engaged each time, especially if you never seem to manage to make positive thinking about it.

7. How long do you think you should wait before committing to someone?

This is a fairly straightforward question. Your partner will tell you how long it takes before they think it’s safe to feel like they’re with the right person and commit to them. It is a simple question and although an exact time cannot be said, with the answer that it gives you it may be enough to compare how long you have been with him or her and see if he meets the requirements.

Even if they are still a new couple, it’s a good question to ask because it gives you an idea of ​​how they feel about loyalty.
Does it take them a few months to commit? You have a good chance.
Does it take them a few years? Consider if you are really willing to wait for it.

Although, an important tip and you will agree: it is better slow than hurry when it comes to seriously committing.

8. Do you think either of us invests more in our relationship?

In an ideal relationship, both of you invest equally in each other. However, it may take a while to get to that point for new partners. So ask your partner who they think has invested the most and the answer will tell you a lot.

Do you think you have invested more? Ask if that’s something they plan to change. Do you think they are the ones who invest the most or that they are both the same in that area? See if what they do really matches what they say.

If you find yourself canceling your own plans, working according to your schedule, and going the extra mile while they can’t do the same for you, they’re not investing as much as you are. This is not always bad if they are just starting out, but if things are going to be like this forever, it is going to be painful in the future.

9. Would you like me to take you with my family to dinner or with friends?

Commonly someone who does not look serious or who is not committed to the relationship is not going to show any interest in getting together with your friends or family. So if you want to know if your partner is positive about being with you, ask him to meet with your loved ones.

This is because it takes extra effort, can be uncomfortable, and can even be an annoyance or a difficult thing to overcome. Why bother if you are not in a serious relationship? Of course, don’t expect a partner to want to meet your family or friends immediately after starting a relationship. But if you’ve been dating for a long time and you still don’t want to have anything to do with your loved ones, it’s a red flag.

You can also ask this backwards if you want. Ask them if you can meet their friends or family. If they quickly say no, they may not see you being in their life for long.

10. Where do you see yourself in five years?

This question is taken from a job interview, but it is an important question. What does your partner think they would be doing in five years? Is he still dating you? Are you chasing a big dream around the world where you are not present? Somewhere that involves you? Somewhere without you?

It’s simple. If your partner sees you in his life five years from now, you will be in it for the long haul. If he does not consider you in his future plans, it is because he does not plan to have you there.

Relationships are tough. That is why communication is so crucial and important for a healthy and happy person. If you don’t make sure that you and your partner are on the same page with loyalty and commitment, you could be setting yourself up for failure.

These 10 questions start a discussion and prompt the start of an in-depth conversation. You’ll walk out after each one knowing a little more about your partner and feeling like you can trust them more than ever, and isn’t that the point?

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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