In the lives of many of us, there are times when we begin to feel sorry for ourselves . We start to feel like a victim, who, as a rule, doesn’t end well with anything. After all, self-pity can push us towards loss of interest in life , exhaustion of the nervous system, etc. Therefore, it is very important to do everything you can to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Here we will answer the question: how to eradicate self-pity and start believing in ourselves?

You could think of this feeling as a noble sense, in the face of injustice and the problems around you. So let me tell you that you are deeply wrong. Rather, piety seeks to recognize a person as “without thorns”, purposeless and dependent on circumstances.

Some people tend, even on a subconscious level, to use compassionate feelings towards themselves. They do this in order to manipulate their loved ones, skillfully using so-called psychological blackmail . But in the end, even if they manage to temporarily feel privileged, this is all imaginary. At the end of it all, when time passes, they won’t be able to make any kind of profit.


How harmful self-pity can be

But the damage of self-pity is very noticeable, and what it is exactly, now we are going to discuss it:

  • If you believe that the world around us is unfair, then you automatically lose the power to run your life. You create dependence on your own life and its quality, in the circumstances that come from the outside. Then your life creed becomes, it is in a few words: “I can’t do anything, life is like that.”
  • If you feel like you failed, little by little you will firmly believe that. This, in turn, will lead to the fact that all the “colors of the world” will fade from your eyes. In such a situation you will see nothing good in the environment and you will feel deeply unhappy.
  • On the other hand, do not forget that self-pity does not remain alone, it is always accompanied by resentment and anger. These feelings you will pour out on the people around you. As a result, conflict situations will appear that eventually create tense relationships with people.

But even if you are able to control your emotions, restricting them is not an option. Since in such a situation your body will receive a great blow, because the negative emotions begin to “devour” inside. Then you can wait for any disease to develop.

How to remove self-pity from our lives

Based on all of the above, you must fight self-pity . But, in your case, you first have to admit that it is present. No matter how difficult it is, we all know that it is always difficult to recognize our negative qualities .

Then analyze the situation to find out how often, in what situations and for what purpose you resort to self-pity. You can likely start to feel sorry for yourself when you communicate with your family and colleagues. Or maybe you need someone to lament for you and you start to make sure that they are right, above all. But the situation cannot be changed with pity, although it will not be difficult to develop a negative attitude towards your work in this case.

Once you find out for yourself the cause of self-pity, then start looking for a worthy replacement. In particular, I work with life-affirming thoughts and positive feelings. If you have a preconceived idea that your family members do absolutely nothing for you, don’t feel bad. Even if they respond poorly to your kindest gestures and the help you give them, the problem is theirs.

You will see how everything changes, as soon as you stop expecting special expressions of gratitude on their part and help selflessly. If your actions come from the bottom of your heart, then trust me, they, like yourself, will be appreciated. But if you let self-pity eat you up inside, then it won’t allow you to do truly good deeds. This can lead to isolation from yourself and a lack of interest in helping and supporting other people.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses. He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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