We all know that being ignored or rejected hurts, but neuroscience has concluded that, in fact, it literally hurts. While the brain does not process emotional pain and physical pain identically, the reaction and cascade events are very similar, and a natural chemical (mu-opioid pain reliever) is released during both events.
For example, when someone is in physical pain, opioids are released in the brain to inhibit the importance of the pain. We now know that this same experience occurs when an individual feels belittled or rejected by others.
Rejection and resistance in the age of social media
Despite the fact that emotional wounds are invisible, anguish and stress are increasingly common. As we are now frequently rejected with small negative details, such as not being followed on Twitter, when they do not like a post on our usual social network, and other modern situations where we can feel that contempt towards us, these emotions are more often.
Social media and constant contact with millions of people at any given time inherently mean that more people may reject us, even many situations that are simply misunderstandings.
Research conducted at the University of Michigan suggests that not only does the brain process rejection as it does physical injury, but personality traits such as ” resilience ” are vital to how we process pain. The response to the brain’s natural pain reliever varies among humans, with some releasing more opioids during social rejection than others, meaning that some have a stronger or more adaptive protective capacity.
When the mu opioid is released, there is a trigger in two areas of the brain: one (the amygdala) processes the force of emotion, and the other (the pregenual cingulate cortex) determines how your mood changes due to the event. Therefore, the more opioids that are released, the greater the reduction in pain and possibly a greater experience of pleasure when someone feels that they have been accepted or validated socially.
One step further, and it could be argued that those prone to social anxiety, panic attacks, and depression release fewer opioids and therefore take longer and do not recover as well from negative social experiences as it is to be. despised. These people may also have difficulty getting as much pleasure from social support as those who get more opioids from the pregenual cingulate.
Anguish can lower your IQ
Heartbreak, loss, or inattention are particularly difficult for humans as social creatures to process. But the impact isn’t just limited to how the brain processes emotions and the pain associated with rejection. There is also evidence to suggest that not being able to “think straight” is a real result of feeling rejected.
According to research from Case Western Reserve University, exposure to rejection led study participants to have an immediate drop in reasoning by 30% and in IQ by 25%. It was also found that feelings of rejection led participants to be more aggressive and exhibit less self-control.
How can we learn to better cope with feeling underappreciated?
So what should we do when we feel belittled by those we love or those we don’t even know but who affect us through social media? First of all, realize that we are probably taking it personally. We are all busy, we all have many forms of communication and social networks that bombard us with stimuli, and we are often selective in what we are able to attend to first.
It’s also important to keep in mind that we remember emotional rejection more strongly than physical pain, and therefore can cause long-term sensitivity. When this happens, seek validation and reminders of the positive impact we have on others or those who care about us.
The most important thing is to allow feelings to be processed and respected, but not to place much value on them, as they will collapse, and our bodies will face emotional rejection over time, as will physical pain.