Today, the rise in divorces in all parts of the world is on the rise. Today’s modern couples do not hesitate when deciding whether to stay together or not, however, also many couples who have children are constantly in a dilemma when they are making that decision, and many couples feel under the pressure. pressure to stay in an unhappy marriage because they think it is the best thing for their children.

Why an unhappy marriage should not continue only for the children

Although, staying in that marriage might seem like the best decision at that time, to continue together in a relationship that falls alone, just to think that they do good to the children, commonly ends in tragedy, since the relationship of the Parents is a time bomb that when it explodes, it brings together all those who live in some way dependent on that union.

Thus, pay attention to these unfortunate situations that could arise from the decision of an unhappy marriage to continue together only for the children.

1. Children will internalize their behavior

It is a truth that children learn about relationships based on what they see in the interaction between their parents. They learn how two people in a couple treat each other while being together and what to expect from their partner. The example that parents give in their daily relationship, can show their children about compassion, respect, consideration, worse also about disinterest, contempt and spite.

If you are someone who is not being happy in marriage, that can never be hidden and since your children live with you and that union that you have with your partner, they will end up understanding that life as a couple is like that. Do you realize that you are giving him a pattern of what marriage is supposed to be?

2. It will cause resentment and low self-esteem

Commonly, kids end up with anxiety, anger, and resentment if they live with parents who are still together when they should no longer be. This is because they feel oriented to support one of the parents, which puts them in a very stressful position with the other. Also, it is very difficult to hide that something is wrong in the marriage, since, guys are not dumb, and somehow or another, they will end up watching you because of the way they interact with each other.

Although many do not believe it, or do not realize it, this situation can result in the children of these couples ending up feeling guilty about their parents’ situation, which leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, guilt and resentment.

3. Children will be surrounded by conflict

As we mentioned before, many do not believe that these problems can affect their children, that they are immune to problems at home, above all, to problems in the parents’ relationship, after all, it is “between the two of them ”, But it is a reality that certainly exists. Their problems will directly affect the children as well.

Parents are the main figure of their children, they create their idols, their heroes, the image that gives them security and seeing situations that, even within their short life, makes them see that something does not fit, ends fading that security that their parents represented them, it ends up disappearing along with their best weapons to face life, which have a lot to do with self-esteem. Even if there are no fights, abuse or yelling, there may be behaviors of rejection, contempt and unhappiness, which they feel immediately, and that will cause other things to generate conflicts for them.

Within an unhappy marriage, making the decision to stay together for the children may seem somewhat admirable, but certainly the only thing that is being modeled with this is a time bomb where, the children, who never They wanted to harm themselves, they will be the most injured.

Don’t give your children this teaching. Instead, it shows that there is self-esteem, independence, and healthy boundaries that they can then carry out in their relationships. The separation of you with your partner, could bring some bitter moments for them, but the day will always come when they will understand it, and they will appreciate that, as parents, they gave them a great example of life. A separated parents does not mean a divided heart.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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