The fakers are one of the biggest fears that women face when seeking couple in their 50s and 60s, and, indeed, those who also face mature and successful women getting younger again for mates . Previously, you only saw online scams of men from third world countries that use model images to attract women. Now, more and more men are appearing everywhere, be it online in dating groups, or in physical, as faithful, moral and successful eligible singles. They prey on mature women who become vulnerable when they seek to find love and share their life with the right man.
The character of Dirty John
Recently, TV brought this type of predator to the forefront of dating with the series called ‘Dirty John’. The real life Dirty John was John Meehan, a dangerous psychopath who attracted successful women to his world using an incredible profile that he knew would get their attention on a dating site.
It has always been said that if a man seems too good to be true, he is probably a scammer. And sure, John was a handsome real-life phony who also claimed to be a doctor. John touched the hearts of women with the words he shared on his profile about his children and how much he loved them.
In real life, he was constantly threatening his ex-wife and using those children as slaves. She said that going to church was something she did every Sunday to give women the impression that she was living her life based on strong, moral values.
The women read his profile and felt that he was just the man they had been looking for. On dates, John was charming and funny.
He knew exactly what to say to make a woman feel valued in a man’s eyes. He quickly professed love for his latest victim by telling her that she was his true soul mate, someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Our weakness
This is the romance we grew up with, so it’s not surprising that these women fell in love with John. But John in real life wasn’t quite as romantic as he seemed to be. He was a cold, calculating drug addict who chose his victims based on their wealth and what he could take from them.
Once he attracted a woman, he went from charming to controlling and threatening. Most of his victims later shared how they feared for their lives and the lives of their children as a result of getting involved with him.
However, curiously, almost all of these women knew that something was not right about John, but that did not prevent them from falling in love with him.
Smart and successful women were scammed by this phony . This can happen to any woman, intelligent or more naive, falling into the hands of men like that is not exclusive to one more woman, or less intelligent, and that is why, if you are a mature woman looking for a partner and you have a stable life that you do not want to alter but share with someone like you, know how to protect yourself.
How to stay away from phonies if you are a mature woman looking for a partner
Here are 3 tips that can keep you safe and away from these opportunists, at this point in your life.
Be careful to put a lot of value on a man’s appearance and his profession
A woman was telling her story of how she met a man who she thought was amazing. She looked like Yanni when Yanni had long hair, and how it had been a huge change for her. They had met at a restaurant the first time and it had literally made her sigh the way he looked.
It had been the strangest sensation and its effect had made her think he was a good guy. In time, she got to know him, and while he wasn’t a proper con artist, he wasn’t a great man either. Their gazes were like eye candy with nothing underneath.
Online scammers post great photos of themselves knowing they can hook you on their high-end ‘looks’. You see the picture, you feel an instant attraction, and boom, he already has you.
You are now a perfect target for their scam. Just remember that just because a man looks good or has a good job, it does not mean that he is a good man. Make him show that he is worthy of you and not the other way around.
Now, these are examples of the modus operandi of subjects like this on the internet, however, this is an art that has always existed (internet or not) in men hunters of mature, lonely and solvent women who seek the company. So, by all means you have to be alert.
Slow down and pay attention to red flags
In this television series, ‘Dirty John’ meets a woman named Debra Newell. They have an amazing first date that suddenly takes a turn when he wants to stay the night, and she says no. His anger flares, and he runs out of his house. That’s a big red flag!
He calls her the next day to apologize. She skips her first dating drama and continues to date him. Within three months, this successful and wealthy woman is married to the man without a prenuptial agreement.
His kids don’t like him. And that’s another red flag. If your children support you in your desire to go out with someone and they don’t like the man on duty, listen to them. Their instincts are usually quite good. Debra also ignored this red flag and for a period of time chose John over her children.
Debra and John were intimate early in the dating process. When this happens, you bond with a man and it prevents you from seeing who he really is. Take the process of meeting someone slow. Don’t be afraid that it will go away. If he does, he was not the right man for you.
If nobody knows him, give him a checkup
If you find yourself involved with a man that no one in your circle of friends knows, he is worth a look. Debra was already married before her daughter hired a private investigator to investigate John.
If she had done this sooner, she would have saved herself and her children a lot of heartache. If you are unsure about a man you intend to get involved with, follow these tips and do not hesitate especially to pay attention to the red flags. Also seek advice from people trained in the subject and talk to them to ask for their opinion; Do not be ashamed, or regret doing it, this is something totally acceptable and it is smart people to do it, especially today that even love is ‘express’. Love should never be blind, that should prevail, above all.
Remember, it is about improving your life, not making it worse in just moments when you are stable. It does not hurt to seek advice on these matters since, many times our vulnerability is more present than we imagine.
Always follow your instincts in the world of dating and companionship. If a man isn’t feeling well, he probably isn’t.