If we think about it, we are all guilty of “bad parenting” at one point or another. We have thus been a bad father or mother at some time in our lives. For example, we have been hooked on our phones, computers, or other things today, while we should have been paying attention to our children. This, and other examples. We all make mistakes from time to time, and while there are no such things as “perfect parenting,” there are signs that are read aloud that dictate that something is not right with the way we are raising our children.
Parenting is a skill that must be practiced diligently – it is one of the hardest jobs in the world to raise a problem free child who is a proper balance of morals, values and discipline. Every child is different and so are the parents. The idea of raising a child differs from parent to parent.
8 signs you’re being a bad parent to your kids
We often disengage when older people say that the current generation of parents does not know how to raise a child. Let’s see what makes them say this:
There are no rules, it’s all fun
Are you too carefree as a parent, giving your children the power to decide everything? In such cases, children become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything at will. Due to hectic lifestyles and both parents at work, no one does the work of disciplining the children as life is already chaotic.
If this is how your children live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit their aunt or cousin. They just don’t know how to behave properly. Discipline is the only way your children grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do very hard work to raise children who know how to behave properly. There will be times when children will test parents breaking the rules, so parents must clearly establish and communicate the consequences of breaking those rules.
Hands up
If you yell at or hit your children, they will be afraid of you, they will hate you and they will not like you. You are ultimately increasing the distance. This form of discipline is counterproductive in most cases. Children subjected to physical punishment can develop psychological problems during adolescence and even aggressive. No matter what your instincts say, even so, there are no studies that indicate that there is any positive effect of hitting children.
It is necessary to handle children with sensitivity, spanking the child to discipline him is not the way. Instead, talking reasonably with a child could enforce some positive outcome – yelling, hitting, or any other form of verbal or physical violence will simply pave the way for more trouble.
Not giving time
Guilty of being glued to your phone screen when your child asks you to play with her or him? Do you have an official call and you can’t hear your son telling you about his day? Stop! Your children not only need food or money from you, they want to talk to you, share their experiences and sometimes, they need to hear your comforting words. Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your relationship, not expensive gifts.
You should be the parent children want to hang out with and cuddle with, not the ones who are like ATMs. Children may inadvertently perform strange behavior to attract parental attention. And as Jane Hull puts it perfectly: “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is positive parental involvement.”
Overprotection
Being protective of your child is a natural trait – but you must know the limits. Young babies will love the way you advocate their antics, however as they grow older this can be considered restrictive and intrusive. You have projected that you will always cover their mistakes and protect them even when they are wrong. They will eventually take it for granted and develop an arrogant attitude. Find out if you are an overprotective parent
Molding inappropriate behavior
“Every day of our lives, we make deposits in our children’s memory banks.” – Charles Swindoll.
The way you speak, treat your partner and the elderly, behave in public, at home; the words you use are being absorbed by your children. If you often abuse others, then your children feel that this is how they are supposed to behave as well. A child looks to their parents to understand and know how to behave – parents are a child’s first role model
Bias
It is easy to spot a child being favored over others. If you punish or reprimand a boy more than others, then the boy will definitely be hurt. This will lead to feelings of resentment and injustice towards you. This will appear later in the form of “mouths” as they grow. They will simply lose their trust in you. Again, comparing your son or daughter to others will also affect them negatively, and may simply make your child unable to take on life’s challenges.
Kids who insult
Labeling children as lazy or stupid and using these words in public can significantly harm a child and lower their self-esteem. Similarly, if you criticize your children’s efforts or belittle them in comparison to other accomplishments, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment.
Fulfill all wishes
Every parent wants the best for their child, and some can allow almost anything a child wants. Do you take out your purse the moment your child fixes his eyes on a new toy or a new dress? Waiting! Buying everything your child puts his finger on is again a sign of poor parenting. Such children do not understand the value of money. They will demand anything from you at any time expecting you to buy them, whatever your circumstances. Even after growing up, these children end up desperately facing financial problems and are unable to even out responsibilities. Sometimes this need can cause them to steal, borrow money without paying it back, lie, or become rude.
Excessive interference
Do you jump at the first sign that your child is in conflict? Do you follow your son like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to solve every problem your child gets into, you are disrupting his social development. They will grow up being too dependent on you and will not develop the skills necessary to survive in the competitive world. Let your children handle things on their own, they are able to do it
Lack of trust
It is not uncommon for others to complain about children. If you believe the complaints of others more than your child, you are passing the signal that your child is a brute and a liar. If you turn a deaf ear to your child’s explanations and pleas, your child will develop insecurity and may become a rebel. This will result in them hiding things from you and eventually they will even stop explaining themselves.
Ultimately, it falls to parents on how to raise their children to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these poor parenting traits have an irreversible lifelong impact on children. Watch out for the above signs and avoid them to support their upbringing. Trust your children, spend time with them, exchange experiences and shower your love on them. Make the switch today, as it will have grown quickly without realizing it.