There are many ways to say “I love you” to your children, without having to say those three small but powerful words. Here are seven ways to say I love you that also do double duty as “life philosophy empowerment” in raising children who feel resilient – children who feel inside that they have what it takes to recover from life’s assorted life. challenges. Parents : pay attention.
7 things parents should say to their children every day
Let’s face it, no matter how hard we all try to travel a bump-free path to happiness, life is always going to present its share of surprise bumps and our children need to be prepared. So, it is not literal that parents have to say the following 7 things every day to their children as the examples show. You can change the way you say them in different ways to your children, but never stop saying them.
1. I believe in you
I have said to my 3-year-old son, Ari, “I believe in you” so often that he has already started to return these same words to me.
Fun example: The other day I was flipping our entire apartment looking for my keys. I collapsed on the couch frustrated because I couldn’t find them. Suddenly I felt a tug on my pants. It was Ari.
“Mommy,” he says, “I know you can find your keys. I believe in you “.
His words were the adrenaline booster shot I needed to get me to my feet and try to pull the couch away from the wall for a quick peek behind him. Eureka! I found my lost keys.
Yes. I believe a lot in the propulsive power of “I believe in you!”
2. Never give up
Actually, when I say these words to my son, I say them three times in a row, in a silly, exaggerated “Winston Churchill” tone: “Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!”
This makes Ari laugh. And laughter is a great stress reliever, allowing you to keep going.
Recently, however, I realized that these words have an important addition. My son and I were putting together a Spiderman puzzle. Ari kept trying to fit the wrong puzzle piece into an empty puzzle space – all the while repeating, “Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!”
I corrected him saying: “Never give up, unless of course you are doing something that could be wrong – then you need to stop, think and come up with a new strategy.”
“A new strategy?” He asked.
“Yes,” I said, “If you keep doing what you are doing, you will continue to get what you are getting. If nothing changes, nothing changes. So… you have to find a new way to do it, a new strategy, to obtain new results ”.
Ari now recognizes the importance of never giving up, and at the same time being open to finding new strategies.
3. Practice is the way to learn
This phrase reminds Ari not to bother himself for slips and falls. I like to say that this is not only during a challenging activity, but also before, as welcoming words.
4. All experts started as a beginner – just like you
I feel like it is essential to remind my son that people who are awesome at something don’t start off awesome.
I want my child to grow up knowing that it is okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to fight. What is not right is to think that mistakes, failures, and strife are permanent states of being. They are simply a bridge that you need to keep traveling over to get to the “Land of Wonder”. I want my child to grow up knowing that persistence, patience, and effort are all much more important than perfection.
5. Failure is not an option
I got this phrase through one of his talking ninja toys. When I first heard the toy utter this phrase, I said to myself, “Oh, I love this toy! Failure is not an option! That’s a good one. ”
Ari and I then talked a bit about what this phrase means, things like: keep trying, learn everything, do not see it as “failure”, but as a lesson and knowledge to learn what you can try again with a new strategy. So failure is not an option. One of the options are: learn, grow, let it go, accept yourself for trying, and try again.
Now whenever Ari is having trouble doing something, he takes the attitude of the Ninja and says, “Failure is not an option.” Thanks to this phrase, Ari has improved in learning to read books.
6. You have to learn from every mistake or accident
Every time Ari spills something, breaks something, drops something, breaks something, I sing this same little song: “You have to learn from every mistake or accident.” So I ask you to tell me specifically what you learned whatever that is and we talk about it.
I let him know that we all make disasters sometimes. We just have to try not to commit the same one many times.
7. You are safe and you are loved
I recently added this phrase to my resilient word kit after she asked me with my therapist to recall a time in my childhood when I felt safe and loved. As soon as she asked for this, I got nervous instead of calming down. I couldn’t recall a clear defining moment in my childhood where I felt safe and loved.
Then I thought about how important it is to raise children to feel safe and loved. It strengthens your self-esteem and fosters courage.
I have now added the words “you are safe and you are loved” in my good night ritual for my son. I whisper these words softly in his ear before he falls asleep. “You are safe and you are loved.” I truly hope this silent whisper creates a strong, infinite echo that lasts well into adulthood.