Sometimes finding the right partner is an incredibly difficult thing to come by, especially when your confidence is lacking and your sense of self-worth is lacking. However, when we are in a toxic relationship, our partner may try to manipulate our emotions without us being able to perceive it. 

When we see ourselves as someone who is not worthy of love, we tend to choose the people who are not the right ones for us.

This type of bad choices does not lead to being with a partner who abuses us, manipulates us, hurts us, and degrades us – simply because they are toxic people and we do not believe that we deserve better.

However, and you should pay close attention to this: we deserve better. Everyone on this planet is worthy of knowing true, unconditional love. Unfortunately, it is not always obvious to us when we are in a relationship where emotional abuse exists (because we think that is normal).

How to recognize that your partner manipulates your emotions

If your partner does any of these five things, he or she could be an emotional psychopath and the most appropriate thing would be to end that type of relationship as soon as possible, and in the most friendly way possible.

1. They tend to confuse our memories by applying the Gaslighting technique

Gaslighting is a term that refers to an abuser who deliberately lies about things or makes information confusing and purposely manipulated to confuse the victim and lead to a state of doubt about his own conclusions.

The term comes from a play from 1938, in which the husband tries to convince his wife that she is crazy, by manipulating small elements of her environment, and insisting that she is wrong, remembering things incorrectly , or delusional when those changes are pointed out to him.

2. They turn things around

If your partner flatly denies and changes the meaning of what is mentioned to make you feel guilty, surely he is trying to make you doubt yourself so that he can continue to abuse your trust.

3. They want to degrade and make you feel worthless

The emotional manipulators try to make you feel miserable. It is their own insecurity and lack of self-esteem that makes them want to bring others to that level, from where they can handle them at will.

They will try to break your temper and make you feel worthless so that they can better influence your thoughts and behaviors. This will make you think that you need them more than they really are. A manipulative tactic to control your emotions and make you feel emotionally dependent on your partner.

4. They like to blame their partner.

The emotional manipulators are not very interested in being accountable for any of their evil deeds, and usually always say it’s someone else ‘s fault, of you, neighbor or who knows, but they never!

They like to put themselves in a charismatic and charming character when they want to blame others for not taking charge themselves. It is likely that you can speak very well with them about any topic, but when it comes to recognizing that there are errors, they become “beasts”.

5. Your own poor circumstances are not your fault, either

In the same way that they like to make you think that all the fights and the argument that you have used makes you clear that you are guilty, they also like to make you think that their own problems in life are the cause of the things you do .

If they are not doing well at their job, it is your fault. If you somehow found yourself trapped and out of options, it is your fault. Did they lose all their money? They will say it’s your fault too.

6. They want to live apart with their partner

They try to keep you away from others who might realize what is happening.

The emotional abusers know that not everyone is weak and easily manipulated as is his partner.

Therefore, when your partner starts talking to others about what is going on in the relationship, there is a good chance that someone will pick up on what is going on. That is why they want to stay away and you will even see them very uncomfortable when we have no choice but to meet with relatives and acquaintances of their partner, in which ironically, they will be very different than you, with very good humor, charismatic and friendly.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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