Understanding how our minds and those of others work will bring great benefits to life, especially in terms of serenity and happiness. Unfortunately, we all have a series of limiting beliefs that come from our past experiences and the teachings that have been passed on to us as children, which have become obstacles that prevent us from enjoying life, as they often generate misunderstandings, stereotypes or perceptions. negative.

Getting rid of these preconceptions will give us enormous freedom because it will help us eliminate that straitjacket that keeps us tied down. Some principles of psychology can help us understand that some of the things that we believe are not so true .

1. People don’t look at you as much as you think

We tend to think that we are the center of attention , an idea that in many people generates a lot of stress and anxiety, to the point of being the basis of social phobias . However, the reality is that most people are too busy thinking about what others think of them instead of focusing on others.

Knowing that others are as concerned as you are about the self-image they are projecting, occupied with their problems and insecurities, is extremely liberating. So, stop worrying about what others think and start worrying about meeting your own standards, feeling more comfortable, and being happier.

2. Your personality is constantly evolving

We tend to believe that we are the same person as ten years ago and that ten years from now we will think and feel the same as we are today. That is not true. A study by psychologists at the University of Edinburgh revealed that we are completely different people at the age of 14 and 77. The circumstances in which we live make us change our idea of ​​the world and of ourselves, so it would be abnormal for us to remain the same for the rest of our lives.

This means that you have the right to change your mind, review your decisions if you consider them immature or inappropriate, and also change tastes and preferences. Change is the only constant in life , you do not have to cling to the past or try to be “faithful” to values ​​with which you no longer identify.

3. Making mistakes makes you look more compassionate

Many people are afraid of making mistakes, especially in public, because they believe that others will judge them strongly or reject them. But a curious experiment by psychologists at the University of Minnesota found that we prefer those who make some mistakes over those who are extremely competent; This is known as the ” Pratfall effect “.

The key is that small mistakes make us seem more human and vulnerable, so that people can more easily identify with us and perceive us as more understanding and close to them. Therefore, do not obsess over mistakes, try to be as natural and authentic as possible , because it is the best way to connect with others.

4. Don’t assume your advice will be heard.

It is likely that on more than one occasion someone has come to you concerned about a problem. In this case, you probably would have taken the time to listen to him and give him some advice. However, when you notice that these tips have fallen into the void, you may be upset or frustrated. This is a normal reaction, but you shouldn’t take it personally.

In Psychology there is what we know as a “reactance”, an emotional reaction that occurs only when someone tells us what to do and how to do it, it is a kind of defensive reaction with which we unconsciously intend to defend our freedom and power of decision. Therefore, instead of giving advice, offer suggestions that contain examples. And remember that sometimes people just need to do catharsis, so you should not get angry if they do not listen to you, you have already fulfilled your mission: to give them emotional support.

5. You can only control your reaction

Sometimes we are obsessed with control, so when things don’t go the way we expected, we end up frustrated, depressed, or anxious. However, the only thing we can control is our reaction to circumstances, and that is more than enough, because how we react to a problem, event or situation is often more important than the situation itself.

This does not imply a defeatist attitude or that with a good attitude you will get everything you propose, but learning to flow will avoid many unnecessary worries and, above all, it will free you from the weight of wanting to control everything without having the tools to do so. try to see the bright side, or at least minimize the emotional damage. It is a very important perspective change that will radically change your life.

Put some of these perspectives into practice and you will begin to notice positive changes in your life, let us know if you have already been practicing it.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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