The emotional intelligence is part of the skills that a person can acquire throughout his life, and this can not only help us get things also means being able to enjoy life more.

When there is a deficiency of emotional intelligence, a series of complications can occur in a person’s daily life. The abilities to achieve things, even surpassing oneself in a game or discovering a new intellectual ability, do not mean that we can enjoy or appreciate it, this lack of emotional intelligence cannot be measured in the same way as mathematical or intellectual ability, since success is worth nothing if sadness or frustration floods us that does not allow us to enjoy all that.

The emotional intelligence does not mean being successful not always get what we want, not sure that will be more charming or more popular. The ability of emotional intelligence has more to do with self-control and self-confidence. These are attitudes that are cultivated internally, but which are reflected in our external behavior and bring with them more assertive attitudes.

Signs of a lack of emotional intelligence

Some characteristics of the lack of emotional intelligence can be noticed on a daily basis. You can see it in people who apparently get what they want or are very successful, and even in those who are not successful at all, it is also possible.

1. Teasing others

There is a big difference between laughing with someone and laughing at someone. Those who have developed emotional intelligence recognize this difference. But not only that, but they also manage to feel when a joke is causing discomfort.

If emotional intelligence is not applied, people end up blaming others. They feel that if others cannot take the joke it is because they are ” bitter ” or ” too sensitive “. It doesn’t even occur to them that their jokes may not be so funny, or that they may be offensive. Or simply that others may be different from them and do not have to accept all their jokes.

2. Stress when someone does not understand what you are explaining

There are people who get very tense when someone does not understand what they are trying to say. The worst part is that they end up blaming the other person for it. They use phrases like, “ Is it really that hard to understand? “Or” Anyone can understand . In this way, it goes from being an intense situation to an aggressive one.

This characteristic reveals that the person is very rigid and probably selfish. They are the ones who have difficulty understanding that there are different ways of processing and assimilating information. Nor do they contemplate the possibility that their way of explaining is what may be faulty. They end up causing damage in a situation that could have been resolved with just two minutes of patience.


3. Refuses to consider different opinions

Throughout our development we are all formed by what is called a “belief system.” These are ideas that come from the education we receive, as well as from our experiences and our own personality. We form a conception of reality that serves as a point of reference for us.

However, in some cases, this belief system can also become a capsule that prevents us from getting closer to reality. In this case, our worldview is not the fruit of personal development, but rather of unresolved neurosis. That is why any opinion that differs from ours is seen as a threat, even before analyzing whether it is valid or not.

4. They hate their job

Most of us spend a great deal of time in our lives working. This is a reality that we cannot avoid. While it is not the only aspect of our existence, it is one of the main aspects that takes our time and energy.

Any job, no matter how simple or difficult, contributes to the one doing it. When it’s a job that we hate, that we can’t take anymore, there’s no reason to keep doing it: everyone should promise themselves that they will seek and find a job that allows them to grow in some way.

5. They don’t take responsibility for every failure

This characteristic can be summed up by paraphrasing the biblical saying that some can see the straw in someone else’s eye while they cannot see the beam in theirs. There are difficulties that are strictly your own, but there are others that are shared with a partner, a team or a family. Sometimes in those places there are people who, when something goes wrong, blame others.

This is a trait that remains of a child insecurity. The person thinks, in the first place, that a mistake is something disastrous. And secondly, that the goal is to determine who is to blame and not what is wrong. For those who have better emotional development, error is seen as something normal that, when better understood, is an opportunity for personal growth. Instead of looking for someone to blame, they look for causes and solutions.

The emotional intelligence is something that can be developed . For some it is easier, for others not so much. But the truth is that all human beings have the right and responsibility to live a better life. That is why it is worth the effort to increase our quota of intelligence that we can apply to all our actions.

By Dr. Eric Jackson

Dr. Eric Jackson provides primary Internal Medicine care for men and women and treats patients with bone and mineral diseases, diabetes, heart conditions, and other chronic illnesses.He is a Washington University Bone Health Program physician and is a certified Bone Densitometrist. Dr. Avery is consistently recognized in "The Best Doctors in America" list.

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