There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do can be interpreted in various ways, depending on the context and who you are talking to. You probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when talking to a girl / boy that interests you. These are some common interpretations of body language, and often the most effective ways to communicate with your body.
First, to change your body language, you must know your body language . See how you feel, how you stand, how you use your hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone.
You may want to practice in front of a mirror. Yes, it may seem silly, but no one is looking at you. This will give you clues about how you look to other people and give you a chance to practice a bit before going out into the world.
Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you can stand and sit to feel safe, open and relaxed or whatever it is you want to communicate. Go move like that version of yourself. Then give it a try.
You can also observe friends, models, movie stars, or other people who you think have good body language . Watch what they do and you don’t. Take those pieces you like from different people. Try to use what you can learn from them.
Some of these tips may seem like you are faking something. But pretending until you do is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work too. If you smile a little more, you will feel happier. If you sit upright, you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements, you will feel calmer. Your feelings will really reinforce your new behaviors and the feelings of weirdness will dissipate.
18 ways to improve your body language to shine even more
It ‘s easy to overdo your body language at first . You can sit with your legs almost ridiculously apart or sit upright in a tense posture the entire time. It’s okay. And people don’t look as much as you think, they worry about their own problems. Just play around, practice, and supervise to find a comfortable balance.
1. Don’t cross your arms or legs
You’ve probably heard by now that you shouldn’t cross your arms, as it can make you appear defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Make eye contact, but don’t stare
If there are multiple people you are talking to, give them some eye contact to make a better connection and see if they are listening. Maintaining too much eye contact could scare people. Not giving any eye contact can make you appear insecure. If you’re not used to maintaining eye contact, it may feel a little harsh or scary at first, but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
3. Don’t be afraid to take up a little space
Taking up space, for example, sitting or standing with your legs apart, a little signals your self-confidence and you feel comfortable in your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders
When you feel tense, it easily ends as a strain on your shoulders. You could move them up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try loosening up by shaking your shoulders a bit and then moving them back into position.
5. Nod when they are talking
Nod from time to time to indicate that you are listening. But don’t overdo it so much.
6. Sit up straight
Don’t hunch over, sit up straight and in a relaxed way, not too tense.
7. Support yourself, but not too much
When you’re sitting down, if you want to show that you care about what someone is saying, lean toward the person speaking. If you want to show that you are confident and relaxed, lean back a bit. But don’t lean too far forward or you’ll seem needy and desperate for some approval. Don’t lean back too much or you may appear arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh
Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile when someone says something funny. People will be more inclined to listen to you if you appear to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when someone is introduced to you, but don’t keep a smile on your face, you will appear insincere.
9. Don’t touch your face
You can appear nervous and distract listeners or people from the conversation.
10. Keep your head up
Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it can make you look insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit
This is true for many things. Walking slower not only makes you appear calmer and more confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone is addressing you, don’t turn your neck in their direction, instead, turn it a little more slowly.
12. Stop moving your legs so much
Don’t panic and try to avoid, eliminate, or transform fidgety and nervous movement, such as shaking your leg or flicking your fingers against the table. You will appear nervous and being fidgety can be distracting when trying to convey something. Slow down your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down, and focus your movements.
13. Use your hands in a more functional way
With more confidence instead of fidgeting your hands and scratching your face. Use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to the point you are trying to make. But don’t use them too much or it could be distracting. And don’t let your hands shake, use them with some control.
14. Lower your drink
Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you appear reserved and distant. Lower it and hold it next to your leg if you are sitting down.
15. Realize where your spine ends
Many people can sit or stand up straight in good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore stretch the neck forward. Your spine ends at the back of your head. Keep your entire spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don’t get too close
Let people have their personal space, do not invade it.
17. Mirror
Often times when you get along with a person, when the two of you have a good connection, they will start to unconsciously mirror each other. That means you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To improve the connection, you can try proactive mirroring. If the person leans forward, you could lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you could do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language.
18. Have a good attitude
Last but not least, stay positive, open, and relaxed. How you feel comes through your body language and it can make a big difference.
You can change your body language, but, like all new habits, it takes a while. Especially things like keeping your head up can take time to correct if you’ve spent thousands of days staring at your feet. And if you’re trying to change a lot of things at once, it can be confusing and overwhelming.
Take a couple of these body language parts to work every day for three to four weeks. By then, you should have developed new habits and something that you will do without even thinking about it. If not, continue until the learning sticks. Then take a couple of other things that you would like to change and work on them.